Yeah, so giving this band another try after “Inferno of Sacred Destruction” which I found, to be honest, rather boring. So this is what listening to “Upheaval of Satanic Might” made me think… war metal, why must you be so retarded?

In theory, war metal is just blackened death metal, only more primitive, influenced by Phantom and Incantation instead of Angelcorpse and Morbid Angel, and with that raw production and primitive, ritualistic feel that gives boners to fans of Von’s early demos and Phantom’s “Divine Necromancy.” But as they say, the difference between theory and practice is that in theory, there is no difference.

Case in point with “Upheaval of Satanic Might.” When I first listened to this album, I thought that it was pretty decent, at least better than “Inferno of Sacred Destruction” and Archgoat’s crap as you could actually hear the notes being played, so naturally I continued to listen to it, but after 10 minutes or so, something odd began to happen.

I realised upon giving the first few songs another listen that I did not enjoy them as much as I did the first time. They were still just this side of “okay” war metal but not nearly as passable as my first impression would have suggested. I repeated the experience, and started to seriously question my judgement after listening to the same song for the third time and finding it, far from passable, absolute shit.

What the hell happened?

The entire album “Upheaval of Satanic Might” got progressively worse with every listen, something which, in itself, is pretty strange because extreme metal is mostly known for its repeatability. I mean, that’s sort of the reason WHY we listen to extreme metal to begin with. Pop rock can be fun sometimes, but once you’ve heard one “hit” maybe two or three times, you never want to hear it again. Not true with extreme metal where, for example, any song from “Verminlust” or “Locked Up in Hell” can be listened to over and over again, and if anything they get progressively more enjoyable.

And yet, the opposite happened with “Upheaval of Satanic Might.”

By the end it was so bad that I couldn’t even make it all the way through the album, this is particularly bad considering the album is under 30 minutes long.

This has led me to believe that “Upheaval of Satanic Might” – and perhaps war metal in general – are not “extreme metal” in the strictest sense of the word. They don’t possess either black metal’s atmosphere or death metal’s complex narrative structures, so at the end you’re left with a very “br00tal” and “intense” form of… pop music.

That’s the best explanation I can come up with. Listening to Black Witchery produces the same effect as listening to Lady Gaga. Okay at first, annoying after a few spins. Replace with “Withdrawal,” “The Epilogue to Sanity” or anything from Demonecromancy.