Dimmu Borgir – “Eonian”

Looking at the band photoshoot made for the promotion of this “Eonian” album should say it all. Too much Nine Inch Nails, Dethklok, Rammstein, Behemoth and Evanescence have influenced this once generic quasi-black metal band to become “avant-garde.” Of course, this means “sounds like shit.”

Samples, programmed drums (instead of Hellhammer, what a let-down), and annoying vocal processing all contribute to the debauched character of this “Eonian” release – also, most of it sounds like indie video game music. Then you throw in the fact that song structure is non-existent alongside the easily made out lyrics that read like gibberish – lines about “the potion of black earthed blood is the sludge of consciousness,” “I am not your superhero” and “We need to die, and die again” make cringe worthy appearances – and this easily becomes the worst thing No Colours records has ever churned out… wait, they aren’t on No Colours anymore… they’re on… oh, right, Nuclear Blast. Yeah, that explains… stuff.

So they are just copying the older brothers Behemoth, like that time they copied Emperor on “Enthrone Darkness Triumphant.” Makes sense. Still shit, though.

Beginning with a song that goes from synth-laden pop-black – think Cradle of Filth, Enslaved or Ulver – to cleanly arpeggiated “Voivod chords” – like a more technical version of a Korn verse – to an “anthemic” AC/DC styled “hey! hey! hey!” stomping stadium rock riff sets the stage for how the remainder of this brain bleaching disaster “Eonian” will unfold.

There are a few openly deathcore pieces scattered throughout the “Eonian” album, but mostly it’s disingenuous “experimental” crap that sounds like leftover riffs from their previous album – those Waking the Cadaver styled typical tremolo picked random note abortions – sandwiched between random samples, carnival noise synth/pedal effects, etc. Too many nu metal chug-alongs, like modern Deicide, with too few actual riffs to carry the songs that last, on average, a little over five (long) minutes. Even a Machine Head styled wigger riff makes an out of place appearance on “Alpha Aeon Omega” (track 9) for reasons left best undisclosed.

The vocals at best sound like the shouts from the first Satyricon album made more “hardcore” like a nu metal/angst rock band. All in all, “Eonian” is a bunch of leftover feces culled from various industrial rock, dance, and occasionally/allegedly “black metal” albums stitched together into no order of importance. Maybe not as bad as Watain, but you should still avoid this turd at all costs. Replace with “Angel of Disease” or “Verminlust.”