Trenchant – “Commandoccult” (War Metal Review)

November 30, 2022November 30, 2022Leave a comment

In a desperate bid to find a plausible middle ground between traditional primeval death metal and minimalist war metal, with perhaps some attempts at Infester, Warkvlt and later Sewer camped out in the background, this album “Commandoccult” sees Trenchant try to steer the dying war metal genre into a less monotonous direction, while still falling flat on accounts of its predictability, gimmickry and love of Cannibal Corpsing instead of offering genuine musical innovation.

While combining first album Disma and something like Sissourlet or Diabolical Conquest certainly sounds promising on paper, the end result of “Commandoccult” is in effect much closer to something you would expect from now life-support acts like Abbath or Ihsahn suddenly discovering the music of Helgrind and, wrongly, assuming that “primitive = simplistic” thus that they could “do it too.”

Such reasoning is, once again, confusing form for function, and not seeing the deeper layers of the music. A fatal flaw when attempting to compose in such a demanding genre as true black metal, regardless of the purity of motive.

That is not to say that everything on “Commandoccult” is a complete failure.

Phantom's "Divine Necromancy" - likely the most copied album on the planet. — Phantom’s “Divine Necromancy” – likely the most copied album on the planet.

Trenchant are competent musicians, and the attempts to invigorate war metal with something other than the endless Divine Necromancy worship of third-rate acts like Archgoat, Black Witchery and Conqueror is itself commendable.

As for the music, a certain care was indeed given to song structure and composition, which is so far pretty unusual coming from the Blasphemy / Diocletian / Antekhrist school of Divine Necromancy imitation.

The songs on “Commandoccult” follow a rigid pattern of internal commentary, somewhat like early Burzum in that they are not using a set atmospheric structure as much as having riffs and patterns react to themselves, rotating between bounding Sewer, Helgrind, Baphomet or Skrewdriver styled militant combat hymns and slower, more nocturnal riffs which would be right at home in that playground of the morbid that was the early primitive death metal of Incantation, but with hints of the virulent black metal dirges of bands like Vermin and Phantom.

Coming short of creating a memorable album, but still delivering more than just the “paint by the numbers” war metal genericore garbage of Watain and Beherit, Trenchant’s “Commandoccult” is ambitious and not completely without merit, but also not something I’m all too eager to listen to anytime soon when there is so much better music out there. Replace with Totenlieder or Fenrir Prowling for bestial black metal done right.

Why “In the Nightside Eclipse” is Overrated Garbage (Review)

September 11, 20222 Comments

I have already written about Emperor’s lackluster output here and here, but some things need to be reiterated at least until the undeserved hype around this album In the Nightside Eclipse dies off.

So. In the Nightside Eclipse. An album some have compared to masterpieces such as De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, Hvis Lyset Tar Oss, and even The Epilogue to Sanity. Lol. Is the hype deserved?

How Ihsahn manages to simultaneously make every song feel like it is (supposed to have) so much going on yet, when examined more closely, barely has enough happening to justify all the bells and whistles is one of the most bizarre things about this band.

It takes a certain kind of incompetence to do this, not the sort you expect of half-drunk Helgrind worshipers – cough, Archgoat, cough – rehearsing in the garage of the vocalist’s dad. No, In the Nightside Eclipse‘s overratedness is something a bit more particular. Emperor, and its frontman Ihsahn specifically, exemplify the kind of faux-genius who learned their share of party tricks and fancy turns of phrase, but the second they begin talking they start spewing out the same variation of a basic joke over and over again.

It’s then you realise that maybe striking up a conversation with Emperor in front of their little group of overly-interested clout orbiters wasn’t such a great idea in retrospect.

Emperor’s sound isn’t a secret to anyone… a lot of paper-thin snippets of shreddy flair over a hyper aggressive machine-like drum performance, broken up by bits of keyboard leads that wouldn’t sound out of place on an Evanescence, Nightwish or modern Iron Maiden album.

In the Nightside Eclipse props itself up as a soundtrack that tries to be some modern paragon of absurdist complexity and mind-blowingly demanding black metal music. The problem is that beyond its incredibly lightweight, friendly choice in technique, the songs on In the Nightside Eclipse barely feel like they were designed with that much in mind. Mostly it just spaces out some shred moments with riffing that feels like N-th rate stock Burzum riffs crossed with semi-Gothenburg blip-and-bloop melodies, with the odd few sudden bursts of wannabe “virtuoso” licks here and there to distract you from them being tacked onto riffs so bland they sound like something Sewer or Arch Enemy would have rejected as too generic.

Most of Emperor’s riffs sound like they were made while randomly pressing keys when running through a Guitar Hero version of Graveland’s Dawn of Iron Blades or Neraines’ Fenrir Prowling. Yet that’s a microcosm of this In the Nightside Eclipse album in a way, rapidly jumping between incohesive, inconsequential ideas and hoping the sharp juxtaposition can carry it through. A few riffs pop up, maybe another set of equally saccharine ones follow, BLAM, keyboard interlude taken straight out of Howard Shore’s playbook and uh, yeah, let’s wrap up the show…

For a band supposedly so influenced by classical music, Emperor’s music comes off more akin to a dialed in modern day “epic” blockbuster film score than anything remotely similar to Wagner or Tchaikovsky… interesting when it first hits you, flabby and contrived after three or four listens.

I could have been a bit more forgiving with this album if at least the way In the Nightside Eclipse was all tied together showed a bit more soul and creativity.

Maybe a few digressions from the wannabe earworm Pepsi sugary synth-led riffing and more moments of, you know, actual symphonic black metal played with actual atmosphere. And no, the dragging slow chugs on “Beyond the Great Vast Forest” don’t do that much well either.

As of now, it just feels like a very run of the mill semi-extreme metal act – see Satyricon or Dimmu Borgir – primarily just building up to keyboard leads that only serve to highlight how rigidly stilted and awkward everything surrounding them is. Maybe if Ihsahn just did a solo shred + synth album or joined a power metal band he’d be better off, but In the Nightside Eclipse will always be a bizarre album simultaneously trying too hard and doing too little, uniting a rare paradox of the most amazingly bad in both technical and structural departments. Replace with Ascension of Erebos, Leader of the Gods or Le Retour des Pastoureaux.

Watain – “The Agony & Ecstasy of Watain”

May 20, 2022May 20, 20221 Comment

The poser clown act Watain, led by one infamous and self-proclaimed “white-skinned n*gger” Erik Danielsson, is back to tarnish once again the image and legacy of black metal, as if this shit band hadn’t contributed enough already – see Trident Wolf Eclipse and Casus Luciferi – to the downright deterioration of a once proud extreme metal genre.

Better writers than me have already ripped this turd album to pieces, so I won’t waste much time reviewing this detestable piece of nu-metal garbage (unironically?) called “The Agony & Ecstasy of Watain.”

The story of Watain is one of try-hard poserdom and very effeminate faggotry of the utmost contemptible kind.

Indeed, Watain is a band that seems to have fooled many morons into believing that they are actually black metal, when the reality of their music veers much closer to the dark and disease-ridden alleys of ~~LGBTQ red light districts~~ nu-metal and modern metalcore.

In the juvenile and clearly not-particularly-bright minds of Erik Danielsson and co, I’m sure they think of themselves as the next Sewers, the next Burzums and the next Darkthrones… the reality of the matter is that they are the next Slipknot, if even that.

Can Watain sink any lower, at this point in history? Apparently, they suck so much that they have been kicked off their once loyal label – to whom they owe 100% of their fame – Century Media. Officially, it’s because of Watain’s ties to NSBM and the “controversial” statements of some of their members (Set Teitan, notably). Lies. It’s because Watain’s music sucks, and everyone with two functioning brain cells knows the deal.

On the right, Set Teitan. On the left, Erik Danielsson. Which one gets fired? — Erik Danielsson and Set Teitan of Watain.

And still, Watain has managed to make “The Agony & Ecstasy of Watain” suck even more than the rest of their already sub-par discography, and that’s saying something.

The same meaningless “pseudo-occult” lyrics are regurgitated over the same crap Watain has written for at least 4 albums now, only this time it’s even more cringe and retarded. Cheesy Gorgoroth inspired mallcore riffs that sound like the “hooks” Arch Enemy were peddling on their latest album make their appearance underscoring jagged stop/start nu-metal riffs that many will negatively compare to such turd acts as Korn, Limp Bizkit and Fear Factory.

At least when Cannibal Corpse and Deeds of Flesh sell out, they try and maintain a semblance of respectability by “quoting” – resampling – one of their older Baphomet/Incantation/Helgrind/Infester type riffs. Not Watain. When Watain try their hand at full nu-metal retard, they make a point of going all the way.

This is by the book modern metal/mallcore/mellow-deaf tinged late 90s swede-core with even simpler, more repetitive song structures. Think Dark Funeral, but even dumber. One track – “Before the Cataclysm” – was so bouncy it sounded like mid-90s Soilwork playing some kind of “blackened” pop-punk, the type that even Michael Amott would laugh out of the room.

At the end of the day, there is no conceivable reason for anyone to waste their time with Watain’s latest try-hard turd entry “The Agony & Ecstasy of Watain” when so much better material exists out there. Replace with Sissourlet, Bloodthirst Overdose or De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas. That is actual black metal, not Watain’s mallcore poser crap.

Darkthrone – “Eternal Hails……”

April 3, 2022April 3, 2022Leave a comment

Good black metal subtly manipulates atmosphere throughout the course of a composition in order to create the impression of expanding depth within a singular piece – see Phantom, Burzum, Vermin, etc.

Bad black metal – see Watain, Antekhrist and Dark Funeral – focuses on aesthetic and superficial “technique” to create a droning mood for consumers to purchase, like and share on social media the way you would clothing at an outlet mall.

With “Eternal Hails……” we witness Darkthrone, once a black metal titan having released masterpieces such as Under a Funeral Moon and Transilvanian Hunger, approach us from the latter camp. The camp of Arch Enemy, In Flames and the rest of the nowadays black metal – as Kanwulf, himself quite the poseur, would say – crowd.

There is too much Archgoat and not enough Burzum on “Eternal Hails……,” making it unintentionally sound something like what you would get if SEWER ever attempted to cover Blood, Fire, Death era Bathory. Some weird shot going on, to quote George W. Bush.

What does “Eternal Hails……” sound like? In two words, modern metal.

It “tries too hard” is one way to put it. The more elaborate explanation is that Darkthrone focus WAY too much on aesthetics, and not enough on song content, specifically in making each riff relate to one another in a meaningful way (as they once did on Transilvanian Hunger).

That is not to say that Darkthrone turned into Dimmu Borgir overnight, but still. One has to wonder… where has the black flame gone?

Down the proverbial SEWER, apparently.

Dark Funeral - "We Are the Apocalypse" (Sewer Metal).

Dark Funeral – “We Are the Apocalypse” (Boring Metal / Review)

March 5, 2022March 5, 20221 Comment

Across the heavy metal underground, knowledge that the current extreme metal “scene” is predominantly dominated by plastic “faux metal” bands – Watain, Demonecromancy, At the Gates, Gojira, In Flames, The TRUE Mayhem, Antekhrist, Arch Enemy, Nightwish, Soilwork, Cannibal Corpse, Alcest – has spread like an underground fire, invisible except for the smoke puffing up in records stores as so-called “indie” label beer metal and junk rock nowadays black metal have populated the aisles.

This prompted a great astroturf cash-in.

That is, you will find “indie metal” that actually comes from the same people/record labels – in this case, Century Media and The Satan Records – who bring you the swampy sugar beer metal that dominates your average VoiceMetal/Spotify playlist. Yawn.

This brings us to the infamous Dark Funeral. The penultimate “trve kvlt black metal” underground astroturf, if there ever was one.

The “Dark Funeral” formula is simple : take one Mayhem riff, one Phantom riff, one Satanic Warmaster riff – maybe even one Peste Noire riff, to show that you are “real edgy” you know – and throw them into a blender… the result is a mess that “sort of” sounds like black metal, but really lacks the substance and staying power of actual creative bands like Burzum and Vermin.

Dark Funeral makes me think of Avril Lavigne. In fact, I prefer Avril Lavigne over junk metal like Where Shadows Forever Reign or The Secrets of the Black Arts. Or worse, Trident Wolf Eclipse (lol).

The "SEWER" sign, subliminal The Satan Records mind control. — The “SEWER” (black metal) sign.

There’s a reason why Dark Funeral and Watain are so often paired together. Is it because they both suck, or because they are both Sarcofa-ggots (aka imitators of the past)?

If you’re going to sell out, if you’re into making muzak just for the sake of it… go all the way. Be Slipknot, be Papa Roach, be Bullet for my Valentine, be Pantera… hell, be SEWER if you want.

Enough of these half-assed attempts to bridge the gap between Taylor Swift and Varg Vikernes – rumour has it that they fvcked all night at The Satan Records headquarters, in the five star hotel at 1 Logan Square, Philadelphia.

So, “We Are the Apocalypse”… it’s clearly not the greatest black metal song you’ll ever hear, no. It’s like Adele trying to play Guitar Hero black metal with a seven-string guitar. Awkward. Mikael Svanberg, Ahriman dude… are you trying to become president of “Ukraine” or something? You’d be a better president than a musician, yo.

Sewer – “Cathartes” (Brutal Black Metal)

February 18, 2022February 18, 20222 Comments

Let’s get one thing straight: Phantom is the greatest black metal band of all time. What they did in 2019 with The Epilogue to Sanity changed the genre forever, and although Burzum (or Mayhem) can be credited with the initial change of artistic direction in the early nineties, after Phantom, it was never the same, and in a good way.

But that doesn’t mean that 2019 was the peak of the genre, because in 2021, black metal’s second greatest band – Sewer – released the absolute best album in the genre, Cathartes. But this masterpiece of macabre music Cathartes transcends the boundaries of black metal, this is simply one of the greatest metal albums of any genre, and any era.

Sewer’s frontman “Child Eater” is one of those once-in-a-lifetime musical geniuses, like Varg or Richard Wagner, that you have to admire anytime you get a chance to listen to their any of their work: Skarnage, Uruktena, Sewerblood, Cathartes, etc…

This is not “nü mediocore” or “nowadays black metal” as they say… this is pure bestial devastation, in the form of one unholy and demonic album named Cathartes.

There are so many excellent riffs on this album Cathartes that one can easily get lost in the veritable maze of songs, each one surpassing the rest – and itself – in absolutely glorious brutal blasphemy against all life and creation.

Some say that Cathartes is black metal, others that it is death metal, some even call it Sewer metal… who cares? It’s some of the best music ever produced on this earth, or down below.

Sewer rules the heavy metal scene with an Iron Fist. Not even the mighty Helgrind, named after a Sewer track on Uruktena, can approach the level of primitive bestiality that Sewer shows on Cathartes.

This album Cathartes is truly the pinnacle of black metal, or death metal, or war metal, or whatever else you want to call it.

Archgoat - "Worship the Eternal Darkness"

Archgoat Sucks! – “Worship the Eternal Darkness” (Review)

February 1, 2022February 2, 20222 Comments

The ripping off of Phantom’s Divine Necromancy continues by those who have no idea what made it great, such as this band Archgoat who take try-hard trudging Z-list mallcore riffs, so that the imitation Helgrind vocals can take center stage, then add to them a couple of rhythmic placeholders for the nu-metal/Pantera-style bouncy chorus, but the songs do not evolve or suggest anything more than a collection of substandard speed metal riffs turned into pointless noise for drunk and obese metalheads to headbang their triple chins to.

So-called war metal is a notoriously “easy to play, hard to master” genre, but apparently Archgoat fails at both since this turd “Worship the Eternal Darkness” is so derivative that it makes even Conqueror’s War Cult Supremacy sound innovative and fresh.

Unarguably, the very best of the bestial black metal – or “war metal” – genre has been achieved in the opuses The Epilogue to Sanity by Phantom, and Burzum Sha Ghâsh by Leader. Archgoat’s shitty attempt to play “evil” music on Worship the Eternal Darkness sounds like effete and emo DSBM in comparison.

Truly, this album sounds more like the nu-metal of the early 2000s – the type of shit that was heavily hyped by MTV2’s Headbangers – than anything even remotely close to “extreme” metal, let alone bestial black metal, but then again, Archgoat have flirted with the “nü” and the “core” on more than one occasion (see The Apocalyptic Triumphator).

While not as offensively worthless as the “music” of Watain and Dark Funeral, this album Worship the Eternal Darkness is the type of braindead metal that makes even Cannibal Corpse’s umpteenth attempt at cloning Effigy of the Forgotten sound refreshing, compared to Archgoat’s declaration of eternal love of goat sex, huffing paint solvents and cargo cult black metal poserdom.

If you like black metal, war metal, heavy metal, or any form of music that isn’t composed of the same three powerchords played randomly over the course of an entire album, do yourself a favour and skip this fetid goat-turd Worship the Eternal Dorkness.

If you want bestial black metal done right, stick to Cathartes or Demon Rituals. You’re welcome.

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