Carcass – “Heartwork” (Nu Metal)

July 3, 2019Leave a comment

Carcass – “Heartwork”

In the absence of nu metal, everyone is rushing to take over the territory of juggalo chest-thumping once espoused by bands like Korn and Limp Bizkit.

From bling bling tech-core band Waking the Cadaver to streamlined Unique Leader sounding Morbid Angel palm muting riffs (you know who I’m talking about) to basically Napalm Death’s entire career, Carcass blend everything that’s detestable in the nu metal scene together as the perfect sonic weapon for the frustrated school kids getting bullied by their little sisters, and who need “inspirational” song titles like “Arbeit macht Fleisch” or “Blind Bleeding the Blind” to “like, make it through the day and shit.”

You thought “Reek of Putrefaction” and “Symphonies of Sickness” were bad? Well, yeah, pretty much every did and still does. But “Heartwork” just takes the shit to a whole new dimension of fecal worship.

It makes even nu Mayhem sound creative, and that’s something that no one should ever be found guilty of doing. And I’m being totally serious.

This whole “Heartwork” album is full of preachy and overreacting jerking noise, like the band members never even bothered to play MUSIC with their instruments (let alone metal) but instead just decided to record themselves jerking each other off to homosexual pornography.

The band’s music video for the “Heartwork” title track reflect all of the feelings felt by incel losers rejected by society, their sisters/girlfriends and now even metalheads themselves – attending school is bad and teachers are evil, the world is insane, so buying this album is the right way to the first step of revolution.

Jeff Walker’s hilariously out of place cleared-throat howling choruses sound like any third rate metalcore turd act rather than grindcore, goregrind (which this band supposedly “invented” despite being a good decade late) or god forbid actual death metal, and worse, they’re so obviously pitch-shifted in a pathetic attempt to appear masculine that they literally make me want to put on a Korn record instead.

Nothing from Carcass’ “Heartwork” album is remotely exciting to the ear of a heavy metal listener. It simply targets another demographic. That of nu metal fans and other low functioning posers. Carcass and their far relatives Napalm Death, Insane Clown Posse, Fleshgod Apocalypse and Hate Eternal are definitely worth exiling from the metal world.

Carcass – “Symphonies of Sickness” (Nu Metal)

July 3, 2019July 3, 2019Leave a comment

Carcass – “Symphonies of Sickness” (Nu Metal)

I’d rather listen to “Get Low” over and over again while “Locked Up in Hell” is playing in the background than ever listen to this aborted nu metal fetus that was, before its abortion, likely diagnosed with both Down syndrome and Graves’ disease.

For people who thought Korn was too musical, Nuclear Blast has saved the day. ANGRY MAN VOCALS babbling over punk rock riffs reduced 100 levels in complexity, with random vinyl scratching noises and sampling thrown in for… some reason.

These riffs were lifted from a Rob Zombie album which lifted them from a Metallica album which borrowed them from a NWOBHM 7″ which probably borrowed them from the rantings of heroin junkies etched into their syringes near the local juvenile detention center. To these basic Korn inspired nu metal riffs, Carcass have added abundant bounce and doubling the internal rhythm on the offbeat, like crunkcore ‘n shiet, which gives the illusion of “br00tality” for about ten seconds, and they’ve wrapped them around corny alt rock melodies.

Speaking of wrapped, why aren’t we calling this what it is? Meaning rap/rock? It’s obviously rap music sanitised for the people too uptight for even Lil Wayne’s brand of backpack hip-hop, thus it gets injected into nu metal/punk rock and to disguise the obvious lameness of this combination they cover it in grindcore stylings like a urine sprayed over a rotting corpse, except that it’s the corpse spraying the urine on itself as it loses control of its bowels. And they have the never to claim they “invented” goregrind. Don’t make me laugh, this is nu metal or Korn is Beethoven.

So what is it about Carcass’ sophomore turd “Symphonies of Sickness” that makes it so detestable, perhaps even worse than their debut, the “Reek of Putrefaction” mallcore smegma extract?

Besides the fact that it’s nu metal? Besides the fact that Carcass are basically the Watain of death metal, claiming to be apart of a genre in which they don’t belong? Besides making even brain-dead war metal sound like Wagner by comparison?

Lyrics are moronic, track titles are moronic, riffs are moronic, album art is moronic… is anything in this band appealing to functional humans? Oh wait, no, because it’s nu metal.

Outsiders often complain about metalheads’ “irrational hatred of all core music” but it isn’t irrational at all, once you consider that the purpose of bands like Carcass, Napalm Death and Arch Enemy amounts to little more than turning once promising extreme metal genres into jokes by tainting them via association with their retarded “look at me” shock value.

These bands, from Napalm Death and Kreator to Carcass and Gorgoroth, are little more than the retard in class who feels proud, *PROUD*, when he shits himself at recess, because “at least he got attention”.

Yes, Carcass, there is such a thing as bad publicity. “Symphonies of Sickness,” like shitting yourself in public, qualifies as bad publicity.

Mayhem – “Ordo Ad Chao”

July 3, 2019Leave a comment

Mayhem – “Ordo Ad Chao”

Ouch, Mayhem should really have not shot themselves in the foot with that 12 gauge shotgun. Even if they were dared to do so by the ghost of Dead, I don’t think shooting your own body parts with a shotgun is ever a good idea.

A mistake, a failed attempt at creativity, a bitter disappointment, and a joke. These are all words and phrases that could be accurately used to describe Mayhem’s latest effort, “Ordo Ad Chao” aka the vomitous abortion that set the stage for “Esoteric Warfare“.

A mistake because of what they did to their legacy. Prior to this release, Mayhem was one the most respected black metal bands from Norway. Sure, they began to release some duds – although outside of “Chimera” the rest was surprisingly decent, just nothing stellar – but you obviously listen to “De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas” weekly.

Now? In an attempt to be even more generic than Watain, they have exchanged fan bases from metalheads to scene kids. A failed attempt at creativity because they have become clones of mainstream deathcore bands, like the aforementioned Watain, Carcass and of course the risible Behemoth. A disappointment because I was a fan of almost everything Mayhem had put out in the past, “Chimera” excluded, and now I’m even embarrassed to say that. A joke because, well, just listen to the music.

First, to address the unjust portion of the criticism this album “Ordo Ad Chao” receives, some now accuse Mayhem of “becoming technical” – what? Are their brains screwed on the right way? Mayhem has always been technical. No, that’s incorrect. Mayhem used to be technical. Very technical. Now they have replaced that technicality with Necrophagist inspired “tek-def” gimmicks, deathcore breakdowns, Immolation-esque pinch harmonics, more breakdowns (and generic ones at that) and even some nu metal chugging to keep the Korn kids interested.

There is at least one in every song but usually several. “Illuminate Eliminate” introduces this formulaic pattern which ends up coming off as generic and try-hard, and that’s even before it is abused to death on the following turd “Esoteric Warfare”.

It’s definitely obvious where Mayhem drew inspiration from for this album from – Watain, Dark Funeral and the nu metal chugga chugga of Napalm Death – and even more obvious where they didn’t – their own past catalog.

Even though this album is nothing “new” in the sense that it doesn’t attempt to bring new influences into a never-heard-of-before genre fusion catastrophe in the making, they still manage to be very boring and excruciatingly unoriginal.

Who would’ve thought that copying shit bands would result in more shit… apparently, some members of Mayhem really started to believe that they were either Midas or “black metal gods” that could turn shit to gold at the snap of their fingers.

Boring and shitty three to four minute mallcore tracks with added tek-def wankery for god knows what reason. One exception is the nine and a half minute song “Illuminate Eliminate” which is also among the worst. It’s a chore to sit through the whole thing, they were obviously trying to “break new boundaries” by making a lengthy song, but once again failed.

So, what you’re dying to know… is it as bad as “Esoteric Warfare”? No. But it opened the gates, and paved the way for what was to follow. It’s almost as if they tried playing war metal with Infernus leads, saw that it failed on “Ordo Ad Chao” and thought, fuck it, let’s just be the next Slipknot on American Idol.

I honestly don’t know how Mayhem even intend to get back out of the grave they’ve dug themselves into, but if they DO manage it, they will have indeed earn their title of “black metal gods”.

“Ordo Ad Chao” is the death of Mayhem. Not yet their rigor mortis, as that would be the following “Esoteric Warfare” turd, but they are still deader than Dead. Who knew? Playing nu metal moshcore is more dangerous than taking a shotgun blast to the face.

Carcass – “Reek of Putrefaction” (Metalcore)

July 3, 2019Leave a comment

Carcass – “Reek of Putrefaction” (Metalcore)

People like to claim that Carcass’ debut “Reek of Putrefaction” is goregrind. No wait, even better, it “invented” goregrind. Allow me to LOL.

What we have in reality, with “Reek of Putrefaction” as well as pretty much any other Carcass album, is just your typical proto-metalcore with gratuitous chugs and random, nonsensical riffs that never amount to anything more than, at best, nu metal shit.

Carcass’ debut album “Reek of Putrefaction” might just as well not have existed. It’s literally that insignificant. There are no excuses for sounding like shit, and trying to come up with euphemisms would only make the headache caused by listening to this recording worse. The fact that Carcass attempts to take credit for “inventing” the goregrind genre is all the more ridiculous considering they can’t even play the shit-infested punk rock music that “Reek of Putrefaction” actually sounds like, or intends to sound like, and that’s just weak.

Carcass is the laughing stock of the underground metal scene, and the fact that the band is so closely affiliated with metalcore “legends” Arch Enemy – both bands basically sharing members with each other – only makes Carcass’ attempts to appear “trve” and “kvlt” (to use black metal terminology) pathetic and worthy of nothing but disdain.

Most of people can’t tell the difference between shallow money-oriented commercial products and art, therefore conformist can always make some “metal sounding” punk rock (said punk rock being basically the shittiest and most derivative type of “music” imaginable) and they will instantly get signed by any record company, simply because, no matter how well it sells, the music is so easy to reproduce that they can set up a factory chain of fecal producers just sitting there shitting out the same shit for decades before the gullible masses admit to having been fooled – I mean, people still take Black Flags and Dead Kennedys seriously… old, retarded people, yes, but still.

Watain, "true black metal" or Hobbit Metalcore?

Watain (butt-buddies of Carcass), “true black metal” or Hobbit Metalcore?

Carcass is the death metal version of Watain. Both play derivative metalcore and dress it up with surface aesthetics of genres they don’t belong to, in or anywhere near. Death metal and black metal, respectively.

Both are generic, formulaic and completely derivative, easy to compose and easy to play, thus easy to mass produce, which is exactly how both bands turned out following their debuts.

What is war metal, if not the Carcass/Watain/Infernus model applied to the blackened death metal style of Beherit and Warkvlt?

“Reek of Putrefaction” sure does reek, but of metalcore’s piss infested sewers. Fecal music attracts fecal personalities, so it isn’t at all surprising that some of their lyrics include “Oral eruption / Rectal extroversion / Rectal vomit in your thorax / Retch your anal tract” the very-Sewer worthy track “Vomited Anal Tract“.

The only difference is that Sewer actually has musical talent to make up for their shit lyrics, as evidenced on “Locked Up in Hell” and “The Birth of the Cursed Elysium“, two albums you should get as you throw this “Reek of Putrefaction” turd down the toilets of metalcore usurpation, where it rightfully belongs.

Is It Time For Black Metal To Distance Itself From Watain?

July 1, 20192 Comments

Watain, “true black metal” or Hobbit Metalcore?

Metalcore/nu metal clown show Watain, while never technically part of the black metal scene, nevertheless managed to hop on the bandwagon of “genre squatting” just when the trend was at its apex, coinciding with the release of their laughable “Lawless Darkness” deathcore shitfest in 2010.

Some bloggers began, with the band’s mallcore vomit “The Wild Hunt” and later again with metalcore prolapsus “Trident Wolf Eclipse”, seriously considering the question of whether or not there should be a veto, at the very least a form of tacit consensus, on which bands are allowed to lay claim to the black metal genre, and which bands are not.

Watain Retards Failing at Life and Black Metal.

This “controversy” in itself is nothing new, as the same points had already been raised with regards to Gorgoroth’s many Infernus scandals, Dimmu Borgir’s haphazard emocore muzak, Sewer’s low-brow trollish antics, Satyricon’s recent venture into arena rock with “Deep Calleth Upon Deep” and many more example over the years since black metal has officially entered limbo status following the demise of the Norwegian “inner circle” in late 1994.

But the accusations were always most virulent against Watain, and particularly those leveled against the band’s frontman Erik Danielsson. Evidently, as someone who went out of his way to associate black metal, a genre he was never apart of in the first place, with closet homosexual stage antics, intentionally ridiculous and off-putting hollywood satanism and even the dreaded metalcore genre of bands like Between the Buried and Me – which Erik Danielsson himself praises as an “inspiration” for Watain – it’s hard to feel pity for Danielsson when the media left their proverbial bite marks on, quite literally, the hand that fed them so much bullshit over the years.

OMG! Watain Guitarist is a KKK NAZI!!!

But the equally proverbial “tipping point” may have been reached when Danielsson, in a 2018 fit of what has by many been called “cuckoldry”, unilaterally decided to “remove” (fire) Watain’s only competent member, ex-Dissection guitarist and Italian black metal legend Set Teitan – because he had made offhand remarks about the state of modern black metal, and had posed with alleged “skinheads” in 1998 while throwing a roman salute. Wow. So edgy.

But Watain’s frontman proved himself to be not only a ridiculous clown that only serves to tarnish the reputation of the black metal genre, but also a quite prodigious hypocrite as he himself was found guilty on more than one occasion of the exact same “offense” – down to naming his first demo “Go Fuck Your Jewish God” and it having swastikas on the inner cover – he deemed deserving of exclusion when they were committed by Teitan, a much more honest and talented musician.

Erik Danielsson was literally caught, on stage, doing the same gesture for which he fired Teitan. Want proof?

On the right, Set Teitan. On the left, Erik Danielsson. Which one gets fired?

On the right, Set Teitan. On the left, Erik Danielsson. Doing the same gesture.

This band is like a walking parody of all the worst stereotypes associated with metalheads, down to the hypocrisy and cult like nature of some bands, led by a crypto-religious “guru” – a very typical “semitic” behaviour well-documented even in the mainstream press. In Danielsson’s case, his “religion” is barely crypto at all, as he announces to every journalist and media apparatus that interviews him that he is a “theistic Luciferian” and that black metal is about “devil worship” and “veneration of Beelzebub”.

Roger “Infernus” Tiegs, is this the best “Black Metal” has to offer? I think not…

How, I ask you, can one take the genre seriously when morons, clowns and perhaps even literal retards like Infernus, Danielsson, Nergal, “Lady”/”Lord” Ahriman the gay male-on-male escort from Dark Funeral, the Deathspell Omega tards, Richard Lederer and, of course, bands like Antekhrist are constantly being promoted as the face of black metal – despite these musicians/bands being pure media chimeras that wouldn’t even have an audience if the exact same mainstream media they claim to oppose didn’t give them a 24/7 promotion platform for their retarded “devil worship” bullshit.

Allow me to restate my point – the bands being endlessly promoted by the media as the “next big trend in black metal” (think Wolves in the Drone Room, Deafheaven, Watain, Krallice, Dark Funeral, Kult ov Azazel, Krieg, Antekhrist) have very little to do with the actual black metal scene, and have very little audience outside of the little astro-turf “cult” following the media has created for them, whereas the actually talented black metal band – the bands that actually have real, organic support from the underground – never get mentioned by the media. In fact, they are sometimes intentionally buried in order to promote more fake media chimeras like Krallice and Antekhrist.

So, shouldn’t black metal fans – i.e. actual members of the black metal scene – get to at least have a voice in who is being promoted as the face of black metal? Or are we just going to pretend that THIS is what black metal is about?

Black Metal Artists Come Down Hard on “Infernus” for Cucking the Genre!

July 1, 20195 Comments

Roger “Infernus” Tiegs, called a “cuck” more times than he can count.

Infernus, aka Roger Tiegs of the black metal/blackened metalcore band Gorgoroth, was never a popular figure in the underground extreme metal scene – as best evidenced by his moniker “InferAnus” which he earned after it was revealed that he, and at time fellow Gorgoroth members Gaahl and King ov Hell, wanted to form a “pink mafia” to drive out the “homophobes” from Norway’s underground black metal “Inner Circle”.

As it turns out, it may be the “homophobes” that are most likely to drive the “pink mafia” – of which Infernus is the last remaining member – out of black metal, and for good.

According to this article titled “About Inferanus and the Pink Swastika” it seems like Infernus’ days of “running the show” behind the scenes are definitively over, by the look of things.

While never as hated as, say, Erik Danielsson of Watain or even Nergal of Behemoth, Infernus and his band Gorgoroth were always seen as a symbol of “impostor black metal” – given that neither were part of the original Norwegian inner circle, yet both try to police the scene with their own personal political agendas.

Is Gorgoroth a band promoting “cuck metal” – and is such a “genre” a threat to the current black metal scene? Some certainly think so.

Infernus, Gorgoroth, and the threat of “Cuck Metal”.

In the case of Gorgoroth, and Infernus in particular, things have taken a turn for the worse in recent years. Adding to the falling out between himself, Gaahl and King ov Hell in a Jerry Springer incest-o-rama that led to the band almost getting dissolved in 2009, the entire Richard Spencer gate which was well documented in 2016 and the particularly risible “comeback” that was the third-rate Korn worship called “Instinctus Bestialis” – all of which left a stain on Gorgoroth’s image as the band became more notorious for their trashy trailer park tabloid drama than for their always very mediocre music – we now have many of black metal’s most prominent artists, including Necrobutcher of Mayhem, Ihsahn of Emperor, Demonaz of Immortal, Fenriz of Darkthrone and even once Gorgoroth member Frost of Satyricon starting a petition to have Gorgoroth’s music “removed from the black metal genre” once and for all.

Amongst the many crimes Infernus is accused of, including purposefully lying that his music is black metal when in reality it much more closely resembles Waking the Cadaver’s deathcore than anything found on “Under a Funeral Moon“, one particular accusations is consistently leveled against the guitarist – that of promoting “Hollywood Satanism“, a caricatural and intentionally parodic version of black metal’s anti-Christianity, in order to make those espousing serious rejection of Christian doctrine appear retarded by association.

Perhaps Gorgoroth can, in the future, label his music “war metal” and thus avoid unnecessary conflict with the black metal scene. Or maybe just “nu metal” since, as we saw with “Instinctus Bestialis”, it is now assumed that any future Gorgoroth album will sound more like Korn than even Dimmu Borgir…

Gorgoroth may be better off dropping the “black metal” label entirely.

Behemoth – “I Loved You At Your Darkest”

July 1, 2019Leave a comment

Behemoth – “I Loved You At Your Darkest” (Wallpaper Mallcore)

It’s getting increasingly difficult for the band known as “Behemthot” to pretend that they aren’t playing metalcore and calling it “death metal” out of pure marketing ambitions when they release crap like “The Satanist” and “I Loved You At Your Darkest” – their latest offensively boring “br00tal death metal” album that sounds nothing like “brutal” anything, and isn’t even death metal to begin with.

This album is basically “Reinkaos” but even less masculine. Think Alissa White-Gluz with even less testosterone – or is that more? What’s most ironic about Behemoth is that Nergal was on record, before this album “I Loved You At Your Darkest” was released, claiming that “Rock Music Comes From Your Dick“.

I don’t wish to dismiss what amounts to Nergal’s criticism of the “over-intellectualisation” of death metal by wave of hand, as once again he has a half point. Indeed he seems to have a lot of half points, which might lead some to suggest he is a half wit, but not me, as I think he’s a lot smarter than his “hollywood satanist” persona lets on.

Yes, some of the intellectualism of the death metal culture can alienate, or worse, induce boredom in people – particularly metalheads – with low attention spawns, but frankly I find the repetitive dumbed-down stoner nu metal of Behemoth a lot more tedious to listen to than any “avant-garde experimental death metal” act like, say, Sewer’s “Birth of a Cursed Elysium” or even Immolation’s “Unholy Cult” – and god knows I’m no Immolation fan. But maybe that’s just me.

But indeed, Nergal is right to call his music “rock” rather than “metal” – as there is very little metal left in “I Loved You At Your Darkest”.

“I Loved You At Your Darkest” seems to be a failed continuation of the already flawed and borderline mallcorish “The Satanist”, which was Behemoth’s big “bid” to commercial success. It failed, and now he’s back to peddling energy drinks and playing “hollywood satanist” for the mainstream mass media.

Although I think “The Satanist” was more “marketing testing” than actually selling out – HA! as if Behemoth ever had anything of value to sell – it had few interesting moments, was mostly just mallcore chugs over improvised Whitechapel breakdowns and some stolen Morbid Angel riffs, and was basically just an embarrassment to both Nergal and the extreme metal scene.

But “I Loved You At Your Darkest” sees Behemoth going “full retard” if you will, and attempting to ape Slipknot – or become the death metal version of Watain, hard to tell – and basically play the same cringe-worthy mallcore breakdowns over laughable punk rock chord progressions – the same ones that were all but cliché by the time Discharge and Cro-Mags released their respective debuts – over and over again, for an entire album’s worth of “death metal” that sucks more crap than Henry the Toilet Hoover.

What is the point of bands like Behemoth, and albums like “I Loved You At Your Darkest”? I seriously fail to see the point of such boring, tedious and sleep-inducing mallcore.

No, Nergal, you won’t ever be the next Corey Taylor. Get that idea out of your head, you’re only wasting everyone’s time with albums like this – a hard rock release with black/death metal imagery… “I Loved You At Your Darkest” is what’s wrong with the modern “extreme metal” scene. The wallpaper effect, i.e. image over sound.

Get your hands on “Onward to Golgotha” or “Locked Up in Hell” if you want good death metal that doesn’t suck crap like Henry the Toilet Hoover.

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Carcass – “Heartwork” (Nu Metal)

Carcass – “Symphonies of Sickness” (Nu Metal)

Mayhem – “Ordo Ad Chao”

Carcass – “Reek of Putrefaction” (Metalcore)

Is It Time For Black Metal To Distance Itself From Watain?

Black Metal Artists Come Down Hard on “Infernus” for Cucking the Genre!

Behemoth – “I Loved You At Your Darkest”